Note To My Readers: My wife calls me a BBQ snob. And I have to admit that I am, to some extent. Many of you know of my Twitter rants against cooks calling dishes BBQ when it’s cooked in the oven or crock pot and drowned in BBQ sauce. It’s not the crock pot or oven that’s offensive it’s calling it BBQ that I object to.
But unlike many of my friends in the BBQ community I don’t rail against restaurants who try to do BBQ. If it’s really bad I’ll tell them (and you) but I don’t just assume it’s going to be a bad dining experience. After all I’m a huge fan of the McRib and I did eat and sort of like the Burger King ribs last year. But today’s dining experience is a whole different ball of wax. I’m upset and I’m going to write about it. Please bear with me…
Subway you stink!
Subway! I’ve been a fan. Not a huge fan, but still a fan. But today was probably my last ever journey into a Subway sandwich shop. Your BBQ Pulled Pork sandwich is a crime. It’s a crime against pork humanity. The person who came up with this disgusting sandwich must be banned from every kitchen known to man. Subway! You should be ashamed of yourselves. You owe pork producers and even the darn pigs an apology.
Look I’m not a stupid person. I know the commercials and pictures don’t often depict the actual products exactly like you get them in the establishment. But how in the world does the picture on the left even come close to what I actually got for a sandwich? Come on really?
When Carl’s Jr. drops that nice big $6.00 burger on the commercials it at least has some resemblance to the actual hamburger. But this disgusting mess couldn’t be further from what they advertise.
Smokey? Not a freaking chance. There’s not hint of smoke. Not even artificially created smoke. Savory? Who are you kidding. If I hadn’t had the clerk put some tomato on it, it would have been devoid of flavor. How bad does something have to be that tomato is considered savory? Sweet: Well you got this one right. It was so sickening sweet that I thought I might go into a sugar induced coma.
It’s my fault. I set my expectations to high. After seeing the ad and picture I figured the pulled pork was kept in some type of au jus and was placed on the bread when you ordered it. How stupid can I be? Again I didn’t listen to my inner BBQ voice. You know the voice that whispers in your ear. “Don’t eat here…” I walked up to the counter and ordered my pulled pork sandwich and the clerk asked the normal subway question: “Would you like this toasted?” I chose to not have it toasted and it was at this point I should have run for my life. The clerk took out a white cardboard container with already sauced pork in it and popped it into the microwave for 40 seconds. A microwave! The container of pork had obviously been pre-packaged because it was packed and stuck in the container where it looked like a mass of plastic.
I wanted to taste the smoky, savory flavor so I added no cheese or other toppings other than tomato and a little onion. I should have added every possible topping I could have because it might have compensated for the mass of crappy sauce covered pork on my sandwich. Oh wait, you couldn’t call that a mass of pork because then it might have resembled the ad. No it was enough pork to hold the sauce together and barely covered the meat.
I’m not sure what makes me madder. The fact that Subway trashed what was beautiful pork. Or that they just blatantly lied to use consumers about what we were gonna get. The advertisement is so far removed from the actual sandwich that “creative license” can’t be used as an excuse. It’s one thing to call something BBQ that isn’t. But turning out a mess like this sandwich is and tricking people into coming into the store is inexcusable.
You’ve been warned! Don’t eat this sandwich! I took three bites and the last picture tells you what I thought of it. If Jared had any self-respect they’d pull this sandwich off the menu immediately.